It’s criminal how short this is.
It’s me but mini.
when ur parents go out food shopping
Stick-gods ~ Game Night
"Hey, how do you spell Massachusetts?"
"How should I know? Just grab a handful of Scrabble tiles and let fate decide."
this is like a beautiful unicorn of mispellings
I was at the mall today and overheard this dude talking to two lesbian chicks. I hear him ask, “So which one of you is the guy in your relationship?” And the one girl looks into her pants and says, “It’s not me. How bout you? Are you hiding a dick in there?” Then her girlfriend looks in her pants and says, “Nope, I’m not.” Then the first chick looks at the dude and says, “Hmmm, guess that’s why we are lesbians.” And then I lost my shit.
i was trying to open a pickle jar and it fell and shattered on the floor and there was pickles and glass and juice everywhere and i slow turned to my cat and whispered “well we sure do find ourselves in a pickle here” then stood there laughing alone in a dark house illuminated by the fridge light while surrounded by my disaster